What is counselling?

Counselling essentially supports people in many different types of distress and usually involves change of some sort, be this physical or psychological. Since Freud, various models of counselling have emerged and when looking for a counsellor it can look like a bit of a mine field, so it can be difficult to decide which model of counsellor might be a best fit.

However, experience suggests that it is not the model of counselling which is primarily the agent for change but rather the relationship between counsellor and client which proves key in the success of the therapy itself. So when looking for counselling, by all means consider the model, but pay particular attention to your response to the counsellor with whom you’re considering working.

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• Are you comfortable when you talk to them?

• Do they seem comfortable with you?

• Do you have a sense that they are non-judgemental?

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You’ll need a yes to all three in order to create a successful therapeutic relationship.

Integrative approach

My own model is integrative, with a strong person centred foundation. This means that I integrate elements of other theories, not randomly but in a way that fits with what I believe about human nature and what I understand of the therapeutic relationship. If a counsellor can provide the right environment for growth or change then this will occur in the client because it is he or she who has within them the ability to change and grow.

Potatoes in the attic

Carl Rogers describes this pictorially when he talks of potatoes in the attic. Potatoes will naturally sprout and grow towards any available light, however small or insignificant.They have an innate desire and ability to move towards growth. Being person-centred means placing the client central to the counselling process; working with them rather than doing things to or for them. Pacing the relationship; being sensitive to their needs and being non-directive; helping them find their own way.

Change is possible

The changes I have seen in clients, both young and older, over the years have been dramatic. Given a safe and non-judgemental space, people do change and find the capacity to make change happen. They change because they are brave and courageous; because they are willing to face their demons; because they build a relationship of trust with their counsellor and dare to go places they might struggle to access alone. It sometimes feels the most straightforward way of being with people you could imagine, and then it can also feel like the most mystical experience you could engage with too. It is a relationship which has the potential to turn individual worlds around, set feet upon a rock and give new direction.